emma got booked for three fashion shows in milano. n that s really big n she hates fashion shows n modeling n runways but since i talked her into doing this well ofc i m here to see her. it s a bit annoying with all these ppl. n i m all alone n i feel like curling up n looking for a corner with some beautiful floor to look at. however i just take up three chairs. n then my god these annoying ppl arriving all the time. i dont like them in the least. then there is also kate moss. she s looking horrible. she got booked for one show only n she s acting as if she s the queen of the world making so much noise n kicking around n screaming n laughing. she is interested in me for some reason. that isnt good. she s sitting three seats away from me n she keeps screaming at me n waving, i pretend i cant see her. but then she s leaning over n pushing n telling me we r so much alike n she s booked two spare chairs for her legs too n wow. why wont she just die. she s a disgrace. i m relieved when we just get on the car to drive off with em. but no, kate moss is there again. she s after me n she s pushing me n poking me n hugging me. screaming in my ear n trying to climb into the car. she is impossible to shake off. what a horrible idea these fashion shows. when we get to the hotel she s there again coming into the room with us. no no no. that s all wrong. she s everywhere i am that ugly embarassing bitch.

some people like my handwriting. i like the white dust that comes from writing with chalk. it can give me allergic sneezing sometimes. and it seems to stick on ur skin forever, the chalk. u can taste it. it s not too dark yet but it s dark enough for me to see. i spell on my little blackboard.
tit sucking ... 100 stars
tea bagging ... 100 stars
n some more n then i place it outside my door. i stand by the door and let the wind blow through me. it s chilly. i dont know how ppl get here because there's no roads, there is nothing but grass and sky of dark dark blue. the smell is of foam bath, it smells like my eyes do. i dont know why i feel like crying but i am never happy and i am never unhappy. my house is only one room big and one window big. sometimes i shape shift slightly cos i m everything. i have a chair. and a bed. and a table. the bed is high. and a bathtub. a bucket. and a trunk. my eyes r always tired and open. i sit in the water in the dark. i cant see u coming but u r here n i want u to be here because of your hands and your voice and because it s u. my back is very sore and u r rubbing it for me. or perhaps u r washing it for me. u dont think i m sane n u wanna know why i charge ppl no money and how will i live this way. n what am i thinking with the board outdoors, i cant get fucked for stars, it s not good for me to get paid in stars for what use do i have for stars. then i have to show u simply. i run to my trunk n when i pull it open u can see too. it s thousands of little stars. i hold a bunch in my hands and put them in urs so u can look closer. it s real tiny stars. i show u on the wall behind us and on the ceiling, there it s full of stars glowing. so i will never need to light a lamp in here for all my life.